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Haven been blogging for many many months, but as i sit at home alone on a boring sunday afternoon, ive decided to write something down not because i have nothing better to do, but somehow my mind is a little messed up and i realized i really have no one else to talk to. Not as if i will really type out what is going on my mind right now, but at least by saying this out i think i will feel better.
It's the time of the year again when i will feel a tiny tinge of emo... i never liked xmas, i always have this lonely feel for xmas, maybe because for many years i have spent xmas alone,,, they say xmas is a festive season and that everyone should be happy and be with frens and familes... but i just dun seem to have that kind of stuff.. and songs like silent night and other xmas oldies are far from joyous sounding, i guess im weird, but i just dun like xmas a tiny bit....
this year xmas is spent alone in singapore, which makes things alot more worse off, since i dun even get to enjoy the cold feeling and all that... maybe i might even end up being at home cooking for myself, and end up sleeping it off... but yeah i think that happened almost every other year...
xmas aside, there are some thoughts that i dun feel like saying... but on the other hand i have the urge to be heard... but at the same time i dun really noe how to phrase it nor put it... but i guess somehow it doesn really matter anymore if its being heard or not... i mess it up... i have to clean the mess on my own...
i really dunno what is going to happen in the future, maybe i might regret it, maybe i might hate myself for doing what ive done, maybe i might just end up messed up and all alone... and maybe i still do _____
anyway thank you for calling apple...
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